When I was pregnant, I bought a journal called “Love Letters to My Baby.” This was the first journal I’ve ever completed (pretty sad for a “journal”ism major, huh?). I actually finished ninety-six pages of handwritten hopes, fears, dreams and prayers for my unborn child. Motherhood really has changed me!
I hope that between the archive of blog posts that will have accumulated, and this journal, that he will see that his mom used to be young and sort of cool. Or at least relatable, if not cool. Cool probably won’t even be a word he uses… sigh, I’m already losing this battle. No matter.
He may read all this and confirm his suspicions that I’m a complete dweeb. I can live with that. What I want him to know most is that he captured my heart well before he had the chance to earn it.
I was madly in love with you before I ever saw your beautiful, dark chocolate eyes… eyes just like your daddy’s, just like my daddy’s.
I was head-over heels for you before you ever clung to my hand for safety… even though your hands are already the same size as mine, and much stronger.
You brought me tears of joy before you ever begged me to dance with you in the living room, or kiss you goodnight through the rails of your crib.
I told you, “I love you,” a thousand times before your first breath. Thousands more before you ever said it back.I want you to know that my love for you runs deeper than anything you might do or not do, because it began before we ever laid eyes on each other… before you did anything.
You will always have my love simply because you are, my son. There is nothing you can do to lose it.
Absolutely, there will be difficult times. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but no matter what happens, Ethan, my love for you will never be on the line. Never. This is the example our Heavenly Father sets for us. He loves us perfectly, beyond our ability to earn it, even when we turn away from Him. Even when we are wrong. And so I will do my best to love you as my Father loves me. Excessively. Without condition. Without restraint.
I want the very best for you. I pray for wisdom to be a good mother and that God will fill in the blanks when we fail. These words aren’t enough, but I hope you will grow to know just how unspeakable my love for you is.
YOUR TURN: Get in contact with your kids. Write them a letter, a Facebook post, an email, etc. to let them know how much you love them and how proud you are of them.
*If they are young, like Ethan, write a letter and keep it in a safe place. My journal is being kept in a bank safe deposit box. Don’t let those words go unsaid, even if you think they already know. Having it in writing is special because they can go back and read it when they’re having a down day, or when you are gone.
Did you do it? Let me know how it goes! Was it easy or hard? How did it feel?