Yes, There are Times When I Doubt Myself

Sometimes the little things are a huge deal.

All day I’ve been thinking about/fretting over the fact that Ethan could really use a bath tonight. Usually, this would not be cause of anxiety, but since my little man has become so mobile and squirmy, Adam has been designated bath duty… and he’s gone. Yes, he’s off dirt biking and having fun, and I’m stuck here, being blown away by the little miracle God has blessed us with.

If he needs a bath, he needs a bath, I finally decided. We’d get through it.

The things that are hardest for me about Ethan’s baths are:
1) Because of the way my fingers curl in, it makes it difficult for me to get him in and out without scratching him. I have to hold him against me to get him out and lay him down with my hands under him. I’ve scratched him more than once trying to get my hands out from under him.
2) Because I can’t hold him in one arm and scrub him with the other, like Adam does, I have to balance on my rear on the edge of the tub while using my feet to wash Ethan, who is seated also. So how do I get all of him clean when he’s sitting in his plastic tub?

Well, I figured maybe to get him out I’d wrap a towel around him before I tried lifting him, and as for the scrubbing of all areas, I thought I could get Adam to do a more thorough job when he got home tomorrow night.

I let him splash around a bit while I decided how best to go about this. Just for the heck of it, I thought I’d try to do the thorough cleaning myself, and to my surprise, Ethan stood very still for me in his tub while I scrubbed him all over. I used one foot for scrubbing and one for steadying him, but he really didn’t need my help. He never stands like that for Adam.

And when it was time to get out, he put his arms out and held them tight in that position, which made it easy for me to hook my hands in his armpits and lay him on the floor without any slipping or scratching. He does this same thing to enable me to get him out of the Pack ‘n Play. It astounds me how strong he is. I don’t have any kind of grip on him… he just holds up his own weight by hanging from my hands.

The way God created us to adapt to our surroundings blows me away. I have to do a lot of adapting myself, but seeing the patient, good-natured way that Ethan so naturally adapts to me, and at such a young age, is nothing short of miraculous in my book. I even realized today that, when we’re playing I’ll-give-this-to-you-and-then-you-give-it-back, he hands things to my feet.

I’ve never had another human understand me in these ways, but he just knows what to do. Somehow he already knows that I need him to be strong… to be a big boy. What a blessing that he is sharp, able, and up for the challenge. What a good God I serve.

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