Shared Custody

Before Ethan was born, I found a crib online that had a door at the end. It was designed to make changing the sheets easier, as you could slide the mattress out. I was overjoyed, as it seemed to be the solution to the crib question, and my in-laws were generous enough to order it for us as a shower gift. Ethan was due in August and the crib was backordered until December, but I didn’t see that as a problem, because I planned on keeping him in a Moses basket in our room at first anyway. The basket worked great, but in November, the makers of the crib sent us an email that a storm had hit their warehouse, and they had no idea when they would have my crib, so they canceled our order. Continue reading

The Purpose of Parents

Ever since Ethan learned to start reaching for blankets, toys, necklaces, etc., a bit of profundity has been rolling around in my mind. At least, it was profound to me. As many life truths are, it is simple and logical, yet challenging.As a parent, I want nothing more than to give my baby the world. I want to be there when he needs me… every time. I want to expose him to the right things at the right time. I want to be his source of wisdom, love and guidance. I want to be all he needs, all he wants, at all times.

Unfortunately, I just can’t. Continue reading

Sometimes Four Limbs are Better than Two

Yesterday I had to come to grips with the fact that it was time. I couldn’t put it off for one more day. I had to stop hoping someone else would take care of it.

Ethan’s fingernails HAD to get clipped.

The previous day, he had scratched his face all up, and he looked like a little “street urchin,” as my dad jokingly put it. When Ethan was a tiny baby, I used a file to tame his nails… I never could bring myself to use the clippers. But lately he’s gotten so strong that I can’t hold his finger still long enough to file. I had to clip, and it had to be done immediately. Continue reading

The Story of My Wedding Ring

I have been asked more than once whether I am able to wear my wedding ring on my ring finger. I am and do, and this is the story of that ring.

Adam and I were married on January 7, 2008 at Excellence Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. He had picked out a beautiful, princess cut, white gold solitaire engagement ring, and a band that had a bunch of tiny little diamonds inlaid. The wedding band was beautiful, and I wore it proudly.

For one day. Continue reading

Holding my precious little one

I think Ethan might be teething… he’s been more clingy than usual as of late. I can hold him with my arms, but I can’t do it while standing for very long or I start to lose my grip. I never hold onto him long enough for my lack of grip to become treacherous. I will sit down before that.

It makes me sad that I can’t just walk around with him on my hip when that’s what will comfort him. I love to hug him because I can actually reach my arms all the way around him… kids are the only ones I feel like I can give real hugs to.

For his sake and mine, I wish holding and hugging were easier for me.