As many of my readers know, I’ve been working on a book. I have an agent, and for the last several months we have been working on revising chapters in response to publishers’ feedback, and now I have a contract offer on the table, and possibly another coming. I feel like Rapunzel, sitting in my boat, about to watch my dream come true. I wonder if it’s going to be all I’d hoped it would be.
I wonder if I’m going to change, and if so, in what ways? I wonder what I will do with myself after my “lights have launched” and there’s nothing else to watch and wait and pray and dream for.
I have never been great at finishing things… I’ve been a college student (off and on) since 2001. I should be a doctor by now, but I don’t even have a bachelor’s degree. The problem is that I enjoy it. I didn’t want it to end. But with a book, I’ll have “X” number of months to finish it, or I’m in breach of contract. This is one dream that I’ll have to wake from.
But I found comfort in these words this morning: “You get to go find a new dream.” One day, I’ll write out the entire story of how I even came to write this book at all, but trust me when I tell you, God had his hand on this situation. There were too many freak coincidences for me to work this out alone. And I know if God is bringing me to this place of a dream fulfilled, He won’t leave me when it’s over. This is much like the apprehension I felt when going into labor, and as glorious as the moment of birth was, the moments of joy that have followed are innumerable.
I wrote all this out because I’m certain I’m not the only one who’s hesitated to pursue something because of that moment of panic. Yeah, I needed to encourage myself a little, but maybe you needed it, too?
There is always another mountain to climb. It would be a shame to spend a lifetime preparing for Everest and never scale a foothill.